It's been a while! Life is busy but has gotten really bad this last 3-4 weeks. Work is insane, which in a way is a good thing, lots of more projects coming my way and I barely have time to come out for air.

For those of you who don't know, Zach and I are in the process of building a house in a new town called Nocatee, the project started back in December 2009 and it should be finished in late June, that is less than 6 weeks away. We are so excited not only because we will have a brand new house but also because it's located in a very family oriented neighborhood and in a County that has a much better school system, yes, let's not forget that Ryan will start Kindergarten next year!

The kids are doing good in their day school and continue to grow at such fast pace that it's hard to keep up with.

Ryan is saying the funniest things and doing some not so funny, but it's such a joy to see him developing his own little personality and taking his own little decisions, even though I may not like it much I am very proud that he has a strong character and at the same time is such a loving boy who hugs me and kisses me without me even asking, and without warning I should add! LOL

Ben is talking more and more each day, his favorite question currently is "Mommy, what's that?"... and no matter what answer you give him, he'll always say "Oh", like he just learned something new... maybe he does!

Zach is still in Oklahoma, we're both waiting anxiously the E-6 results, I am so wishing he did not make rank because then he will get to come home, but we both have agreed that whatever the outcome of this test is we will welcome it and work through it. I am sure that God will show us the path he wants us to follow, because after all, we can make all the plans we want, but He is the only one who knows what's best for our family and no doubt he will lead us in the right direction.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Kids...

You know you have been dining out with your kids a lot when:

- The waitresses know the kids by their first name;
- We're driving by Golden Corral and Ryan says: "Mommy, are we going to eat at the restaurant?", I tell him: "No we're eating something different today"... then he says: "Oh, we're going to the chinese restaurant?"... LOL LOL LOL

Marriage...

Finally I have some time to write about the wonderful weekend that I had with my sweet heart!

After agreeing that we needed to spend some time together, away from work and everything, kids included, I bought a plane ticket to Oklahoma City and asked Zach's parents to take care of the kids for a 3 day weekend.

I flew to Oklahoma on a Friday morning, after my sweet Father-in-law took me to the airport. Seeing Zach again after two months was AMAZING, I felt like I hadn't seen him in a year, it brought back memories of our encounters after 6 or  8 month deployments. We did most of the things that newlyweds do: fancy dinners, movies, popcorn, shopping and just walking holding each other... I truly feel we reconnected in a lot of special ways.

It has been an emotional rollercoaster for us lately. We struggle with our very hectic schedules and barely have time for each other, this time in our lives is a test of faith as well as a test of patience.

Now I don't want to paint some picture of marital disrepair, but I am learning that a marriage ebbs and flows. Time marches on and we are continually changing, growing and as that happens, a husband and wife must continually touch base and reconnect or they simply drift apart.

Marriage is a constant work in progress. I'd like to think that we will one day "arrive" and have this perfect blissful marriage, but the reality is that we never will. We are human and very often make mistakes, by nature. I know that I will put my foot in my mouth countless times before this week even ends, but just the fact that we were discussing the challenges and seeking to make course corrections indicated that we are both still very much in love and that we have every intention of being together the rest of our lives.

Marriage is such a richly rewarding aspect of life but is also so very complicated. I could not imagine life without Zach or our two beautiful children. Despite the challenges that do arise, I am so very thankful for these blessings. We are going to work very hard to carve out "mommy and daddy time" every chance we get, hopefully we can count on the Grandparents to babysit every now and then :-)

More funny things!

- I was at the Navy exchange with the kids, while looking at women's clothing I found a shirt that I liked, I showed it to Ryan and asked him: "Do you like this shirt" and he said "No Mommy, that's a girl's shirt"... the women around me chuckled.. so I asked him: "And Mommy is not a girl?"... and he said: "No, you're not a girl, you're Mommy"... how sweet!

- Ryan thinks that the sound of the popcorn in the microwave is : "Popcorns hatching"....

- A couple of nights ago, the kids were having dinner, I gave Ryan some Crystal light and he didn't like it, so he told me: "Mommy, I don't like this water, is not TASTY"... LOL

- After dinner Ryan said to me: "Mommy, I want a browny, and Mommy, don't say no to me"!

Funny things!

Here is a list of some of the funny things Ryan and Ben have said or done, things that I won't ever want to forget and that I want to share with all of you!

- Sometimes, when I'm driving and some other driver ticks me off I just have to say something, usually the kids are ridingg along in the back seat, so even though I don't curse I say things like: "Get out of the way", "What are you waiting for", "What are you doing?", "Get off the phone"... Ryan alwasy asks me " Mommy what's wrong?" and I always give him the same answer: "Nothing sweetie, just that some people don't know how to drive"... LOL. So one day here is Ryan playing with his cars, he is on my bed and I'm folding clothes, all of a sudden he makes one car crash into another and says "Oh NO"... so I ask him: "What happened"... and he says "Some peopleS not know how to drive"... LOL

- I try to talk to Zach on the phone every night once the kids are in the bed so they're not running around distracting me, one night I was on the phone with him and Ryan kept coming out of his room after I had tucked him in two or three times... so I raised my voice a little and said to him "Ryan, what are you doing? You need to go to bed"... I could see he got a little upset so I told him: "Ok, come here, at least say Good Night to your father", so he grabs the phone and says: "Good Night Father" and goes back to bed.

- On the way to daycare we were at a stop light, Ryan said: "Green-Go, Red-Stop, I am so so so so smart... and beautiful"

Happy 4th Birthday Ryan !!!

Today is Ryan's 4th Birthday, 4 years ago I became a Mommy and Zach a Daddy. Here is how it all happened.

39 weeks and NOTHING!

At my 39 week appointment I showed no signs of going into labor on my own so I was scheduled for an induction (sounds familiar?). The doctors were concerned that I would have a difficult labor because for the last two months of my pregnancy I had preeclampsia (pregnancy induced hypertension) and edema (severe swelling) to the point no shoes would fit me, I could barely wear sandals.

The last month of pregnancy (weeks 37-40) I was SO MISERABLE all I wanted to do was cry, I could not walk, I could not sit, I could not sleep, I couldn't get comfortable in any position at all. I remember most of my family members who called me to ask how I was had to hear me cry and complain on the phone LOL. So when the Dr said he was going to schedule me for an induction on the exact day I was going to be 40 weeks I almost started crying.. I was ready !

Induction Day!

The Dr said to call L&D at the NAS Jax Hospital around 7am to let them know I was coming. I was up at 5.30am, got a shower blow dried my hair and could hardly wait to 7am, I called at 6.30am to tell them I would be there at 7, LOL. Zach and I stopped at a McDonalds to get something to eat and off to the hospital we went.

They admitted me and took me to a delivery room, immediately hooked me and the baby up to the heart monitor and after about an hr the Dr came to break my water. I was put on Pitocin to speed up labor and also was given Magnesium, to keep my high blood pressure down. Then we started the waiting game. It was around 10am on February 14th, I actually thought I was going to have a Valentine's Day baby but Ryan had a slightly different plan.

The magnesium made me VERY sleepy, I remember the whole situation like a dream, I remember waking up and complaining about contraction pain but then I would fall asleep right back... I spent all day/night in the same trance, then to top it off it also made me nauseous, I remember waking up to puke a couple of times and going back to sleep again. Labor was not going as fast as I wish it would have, throughout the night at some point the contractions got too painful and I asked to get an epidural, after I got it I did not feel any more contractions, all I had to do was wait and hope to high heavens that Pitocin would work.

My sister Christina arrived that night and came to stay with me at the Hospital, my in-laws also got there around 3am and were also witnesses to my misery. That's how I spent the first night.

The next morning and after being in labor for over 24 hrs the Drs decided that the whole situation was becoming to stressful for the baby. I was no where near fully dialated and the baby was showing signs of stress, poor thing. He was engaged well into the pelvis but not moving forward, they suspected it was because the umbilical cord could be wrapped around his neck.

At around 9am I was told that more likely they would have to do a c-section, I was fine with it, at that point I just wanted that baby out before something bad could happen to him, while they were preparing me to take me to the Op room I saw my Dr. whispering somethign to another one, he came to me and said he was going to give me one last chance to have a vaginal birth, he said "I think you could do it".

Ryan is here! 

The Dr told me to start pushing to see if that would get me fully dialated, Zach as the great coach he is started counting with me 1-10. At that point I totally became aware of what was going on, I remember clearly who all was in the room, my sister was there holding the video camera (I specifically asked her to make it a G rated movie and to record from the head of the bed, not in between my legs LOL), Zach was on my left side, holding my hand/leg, on the right side was my mother in-law, Evelyn, hoding my other leg, I pushed a couple of times and within 3 minutes the Dr said I was fully dialated and the baby's head was crowning... wow, how did that happen so fast?? In two seconds the room got full of doctors and nurses and next thing I hear is Zach saying "I see him, I see his head" as he started crying... my mother in law saying "He's got a head full of back hair"... one more push and he was out... it was 11.19am... after 28 hrs of labor, my baby was finally here.... with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck... the Dr immediately unwrapped the cord and shook the baby a little trying to give him some room to breath I assumed, I remember asking "Why is he not crying??", the Dr. said "The little guy is just tired...", I looked down and saw this baby with a head FULL of pitch black hair and shaking his arms and legs... but silent... I was about to start panicking when I heard that cry, the best sound in the world I insist...

They cleaned him up and we were told he was perfectly healthy, however, the magnesium had an adverse effect on him, his heart rate went down as soon as he was born and had to be taken immediately to the incubator, we barely had time to hold him and give him a kiss. He was 7lbs 09oz and 20 inches long.

As soon as he got to the nursery he was put on an IV, oxygen and antibiotics, also they had to take some blood samples. He spent the first night away from me, although as soon as I was done in the L&D room I asked to be taken to the nursery where Zach and I spent some time with him, just holding his little hand, he was so calm... the next day he was doing much better, the IV helped wash out the magnesium from his system. My in laws, Zach and I were in the nursery the very next morning, all of a sudden Evelyn remembered that Zach's Dad had not held the baby yet, so he did, as soon as Ryan heard Grandpaw's voice he opened his eyes for the first time since he was born... that moment was amazing, it's funny how  they've always had a special relationship and Ryan adores him. 

When they made sure everything was fine with Ryan, his heart rate back to normal and no infections he was allowed to sleep in my room and finally let us go home a couple of days later.

Happy 2nd Birthday Ben !!!

Two years ago today, I gave bith to my precious Benjamin James, what better way to remember that day than to share his birth story.

At my last ob/gyn appointment at 39 weeks I showed NO signs to go on labor on my own so I was scheduled for an induction a week later. The scheduled date for Ben to be born was February 7th. I told my boss that for the last week of my pregnancy I would be working from home since I was so swollen and uncomfortable (and miserable), he agreed to it and that's what I did on Monday the 4th. Come Tuesday I woke up and started working on the lap top in the living room, I had several cushions on my back and my feet up on the coffee table, the question that comes to mind: Why was I still working?... the asnwer is because it was month end and we needed to be done with the financials that very day. I had it all planned perfectly: I would be working Tuesday and then get my bag and everything ready on Wednesday so I could be induced on Thursday. Ben had other plans for me.

So on Tuesday, as I was working I started having little contractions, not even enough strong to make me uncomfortable, so I kept working... the contractions lasted all morning and afternoon, in the beginning they were about 30 mins apart so I didn't pay much attention, I was more concentrated in getting the financials done. LOL. At around noon I got up and got something to eat, then got back to the computer... contractions were still about 30 mins apart but they did wouldn't go away. I started wondering. I called Zach to let him know but I told him, don't rush home, I'm fine.

But I'm HUNGRY!

At around 4pm the contractions started being about 15 mins apart but still not strong enough, at this point I was pretty sure I was going to head to the Hospital that night, so I started typing an email to my boss with the things that still needed to be done in order for them to close the books. I called Zach who was on his way home after picking up Ryan from daycare, and asked him to get KFC for dinner, at this point my breathing changed and I noticed the contractions were coming stronger and closer in time, about 10 minutes between each one.

When Zach got home I was still typing that email, he asked me to get off the computer and eat something, I told him we would have to head to the hospital that night and that we had to find somebody to take care of Ryan, his parents were coming down to Jax from GA to take care of him but they were working the polls that night and weren't scheduled to leave until the following morning. Zach was able to get one of our neighbors to come and spend a few hrs with Ryan while his parents were on the way, he had to call them and ask them to please drive to Jax as soon as they were done in the polls. While all this was happening I was sitting on the dining table with Ryan eating KFC, contractions were 5 mins apart getting stronger, I had to stop chewing so I could breathe in between contractions, Zach askend me to please hurry and get ready and I said "But I'm hungry, if I don't eat now it will be hrs before I can eat again"...

Once I was done eating I started putting my hospital bag together... but then I had to stop and lay down on the bed, my breathing had changed tremendously and the contractions were getting stronger and stronger, out of the corner of my eye I saw Zach take his pants off and say "I'm going to take a quick shower"... then another contraction came and I started screaming... Zach heard me and put his pants back on and said: "We have to go NOW". I told him my bag was not ready yet, so he finished it for me, in between contractions I'd tell him: "Bras, panties, my bathrobe, this.. that"... when he finally finished the neighbor was already in the house, I remember I never clicked SEND on that email to my boss so I went back to the computer, finally I kissed Ryan good bye and off to the Hospital we were.

Just give me something, damn it!

We got to the NAS Jax base, thankfully only after a 10 minute drive, I won't be able to forget the look on the guard at the gate when he asked for our ID's, I was screaming... LOL

I was admitted immediately and put in a delivery room, contractions were now 3-4 minutes apart and still strong, once the Dr came to check on me he said I was only 4cm dialated and that I had "ways to go"... what the hell did that mean? I was ticked, I needed something for that pain NOW.. so I told him (more than ask  him)... "can you give  me something for the pain".. he said he would be back.

I told Zach, "go find somebody and tell them I need something for the pain, just give me something damn it". Zach went and found out that they were getting ready to do it. OH, the relief I experienced once I got that shot is something unexplainable... it was around 9pm. I spent the night just waiting for my labor to progress, in the morning when they came to break my water the Dr said he wasn't expecting to see so much amniotic fluid and that it had fecal matter, that meant Baby could have swallowed some of that.. I got really scared and started praying for my baby to be ok.

Ben is here!

Once they broke my water labor progressed really fast in a matter of less than 2 hrs I was fully dialated, the only problem is that Ben's head was not positioned right, he had not tucked in his chin, instead he was facing up, my Dr. asked me to start pushing so she could position Ben's head correctly with her hand, that seemed to work because one or two minutes later I saw this crowd of people coming in and getting things ready... this was it!

I have to give credit to my husband, he is such a great coach, he would hold my hand and count with me 1-10 on every contraction and give me advise on how to breath, he was truly amazing!

I pushed about 4 or 5 times and Ben was out... I could only hear things like "Wow".. "At least 9lbs".. "Big boy"... then I finally looked and saw this chunky baby starting to cry... that was the best sound in the world. After I was told that he was perfectly fine, 10 fingers and 10 toes, I could finally get some rest.

Scary night!

After I was taken to my room and allowed to eat something, they brought baby to me and let me try breastfeeding, he did great for his first time. He was allowed to sleep in my room that night, Zach stayed with us too.

Around 1am I had to get up to go to the bathroom, I told Zach I was ok and could do it on my own, after I finished I was working on changing my panties, etc and I feel this HUGE blood clot coming out, I don't quite make it to the toilet when it does... it was so HUGE and so heavy that when it hit the floor it splatter blood all over me, the walls, the shower curtain and the bathroom floor, not only that, I kept seeing gushes of blood coming out, it was so bad that the bathroom floor was covered in blood in just a matter of seconds... I knew Zach would panic if I did so I tried to stay calm and told him: "Babe, can you please go get a nurse and please DO NOT open that door"... when the nurse came in, she immediately helped me to the bed, I had to walk all over the blood in the floor being careful not to slip. The nurse cleaned me up and as I was laying in the bed where I could feel blood coming out in gushes, she had to change the diaper under me twice in a matter of 5 minutes... she called the Dr. immediately and I was taken to another room downstairs, the Dr. on watch came to examine me and after she did her exact words were: "You have a hemorrage that we will try to control by doing a D&C, at this moment we don't know what is causing it, if the D&C doesn't work, in the last attempt to save your life we will have to remove your uterus".... WOW,  I started crying and so did Zach, we were so scared, I don't think  I've ever been that scared in my life.

I was taken to the pre-op room and given something to relax, Zach was there holding my hand all the time and telling me everything was going to be ok, he wasn't even supposed to be there but the Dr. allowed it because she said he "kept me calm".

I had the D&C (worst thing in my life I can remember) and when I woke up Zach was next to me... I was shaking as if I was freezing but it was just the effect of the medication. I went back to sleep. When I woke up again I was in my room, the Dr. came in to examine me and told me that the D&C worked and the  bleeding had stopped. All my prayers and all of our families prayers were heard indeed.

We left the Hospital a couple of days later and brought home another beautiful baby boy who, along with his older brother Ryan, is the light of our lives!